Wednesday, August 17, 2011
How to take your son to college…
So it happened. I took my son, Chance to WSU. I have to say so far I’ve done pretty well. I’m not sure why…don’t know if it just hasn’t fully hit me yet. I can’t say I’ve been very faithful about it lately or really trying to give it to God because I just haven’t really been able to pray. I don’t know if that has ever happened to you. Sometimes I am like a prayer warrior, praying all the time for anything and everyone that God puts in my mind. And other times I can barely utter a sentence to God. This is one of those times. But I know I have lots of friends and family members praying for me and I have to believe their prayers are carrying me as I go through the motions, feeling kind of numb to it all. So here are my thoughts of all that has transpired the last couple of days. (The good and the bad…keeping it real here!) J
1st off I have to say taking your son to college seems utterly ridiculous. It feels like you’re being punked. I’m thinking to myself…. I’m really supposed to leave you here…just like that? Like seriously?!? If I can say anything to parents who are going to be in my shoes in the next couple of years….don’t coddle or do everything for your kids. Start giving them some freedom with boundaries. Send them away to camps. Give them some sort of independence of you because once they go off to college, it’s pretty much over. You drop them off outside of a wheat field and they are on their own.
The 2nd thing that I did not realize until we got to college was how cool my son is. I mean he is REALLY cool. I mean like totally, really, super cool. And I am in fact the opposite of that. I am so not cool. Like totally, really, super un-cool. And just really embarrassing to be around. I know this is all normal for them to portray (I’m so cool and chill and yeah my Mom is not) But it was a bit much to swallow at times. And it wasn’t just my son…I
noticed it with just about all parents and their kids. You’d make eye contact with a fellow parent and it was like…yep I’m walking 5 steps behind my kid because they don’t want anyone to know I’m with them. And we’d just nod at each other. I think this happens for 2 reasons. 1. They want their independence so bad and they think they are ready to take on the world and as a parent we represent the opposite to them. And 2. If Chance was super clingy or seemed sad at me leaving him it would have been 10X’s harder to say goodbye. God knows what we need to get it done, and believe it or not the least painful way was for him to be a little stinker. It was so much easier for me to say goodbye this way.
The 3rd thing I noticed was the girls. Lots and lots of really cute girls. And I’m not sure cute really is the word I should use to portray these girls. Even Chance couldn’t help himself. He’d say to me (the super un-cool Mom) Wow…did you see that/those girls? It’s hot in Eastern WA and so lots of girls in shorts and tank tops. Hard to miss. So of course I had to give my son the lecture….Chance don’t you dare go for a girl just on looks. Make sure she has a good heart. Make sure she loves God. (I could give this lecture to a few men I know too!) I’m sure you know how that went over, but a Mom’s gotta say what a Mom’s gotta say. And I really didn’t mind being deemed un-cool for that one.
So having said that all, I really am excited for Chance. I know he is exactly where God wants him for now. It is hard to let go. But as I was driving home today 3 different times on the radio and on different stations I heard Matthew West’s song…More. And I knew when I heard it….It was about Chance. And as much as a Mother loves her one and only child (or any of her children)….God loves them more. More than you can imagine….more than you can fathom. And yes I did cry a bit on the way home, and even though I had no prayers in my head to pray, God knew my heart and He answered my un-said prayers through that song. He’s that Good! J
So when you take your son to college just be ready to leave them there. (Yes, I’m serious!) Be ready to be un-cool. Be ready to give them grace when they act like they don’t want to be around you. Be excited for the adventure they have begun, and mostly remember God is in control of their lives.
Thank you to all my friends and family for praying for me. I felt your prayers and God’s peace throughout the last couple of days.
And one final thing…When you take your son to college be sure to give him a GIANT hug and kiss goodbye and tell him how much you love him and how proud you are of him. And that is how you take your son to college.
Take a listen... Matthew West....More