Monday, April 9, 2012


So last week I was talking with a friend who is going through a divorce and recently had heard some statistics about people getting remarried.  According to her there was a study and 80% of men remarried within 4 years of getting a divorce and 70% of women remarried 4 years after a divorce.  (Or something like that….For the record she couldn’t exactly remember the percentages and neither can I….and for the record, I looked all over the internet for these statistics and couldn’t find them.  But the exact statistics are not the point.) J
As she told me these statistics…I could feel myself stiffen up….and the 1st words out of my mouth were….Well I guess I am way below average then. 
(I also told her how 2nd marriages have an even higher divorce rate then 1st marriages and don’t last near as long.  This I could find the statistics for all over the internet….but that is not the point either!)  J 

The point is….My first reaction was not the most positive I know, BUT…. in the past this information would of REALLY devastated me.  In fact it probably would of ruined my day. (Or week, or month, or year)   It would have been like a poison dart to my heart.  I continually have battled with negative thoughts about myself and this would of fed those thoughts big time.  I can just hear the self talk….I’m such a loser….I’m not loveable…..There is someone for everyone but me.  It would go on and on. 

But this time I can honestly say, it mildly disturbed me.  I mean, I did mention it to friends later in the day and I did think about it…but not obsessively and it certainly did not ruin my day.   And then I had a break through…..because as I was thinking about it……A thought popped into my head…and this is what it said….You are not average.  You never wanted to be average.  And I instantly thought…Yes of course!  I don’t want to be status quo.  I don’t want to marry for the wrong reasons.  Just because so many people remarry so quickly doesn’t make it right for me!  And it felt like this HUGE breakthrough and the clouds parted and the sun shined down and I thought….I am making PROGRESS!!!!!!!  Woo-Hoo! 
This may sound silly to you…but I don’t think I am alone in my journey… married or not.  We all have poisonous self talk.  My dearest friend came for a visit last month and she struggles with not feeling good enough.  She is beautiful, so fun, so talented, so smart, has the voice of an angel, is an amazing mom and wife……and she struggles with…I’m not good enough.  This blows my mind.  How can this be?  But let’s face it …we all have an enemy and he loves to make us feel unworthy and not good enough.     

As I have mentioned before I have a singles life group that meets once a week at my home.  It is men and women and I can say the core group of us have gotten quite close.  A few weeks back after being prompted by a sermon by our pastor at church, we decided to write down all the counterfeit names Satan tries to give us.  Such as….Unworthy…unlovable….not good enough….Stupid….Loser….etc…these are the negative thoughts that can run through our heads.  (Like my 1st response to my friends statistics….I guess I’m way below average then.)  Then we took a challenge to go to God’s word and wrote down what God tells us we are.  It was an interesting night to say the least.  We burned our counterfeit names in my fireplace and shared the scripture passages that told of our true identity.  I can’t tell you how freeing and amazing this night felt. 

Here are a few that we came up with that night….
I am chosen.  1 Peter 2:9 & 2 Thessalonians 2:13

I am a beloved child of God  1 John 3:1

I am complete in Christ  Colossians 2:10

I can do All things through Christ  Philippians 4:13
I am never alone   Hebrews 13:5
Nothing can separate me from God’s love  Romans 8: 38 & 39

Let me tell you nothing is more powerful then combating Satan’s lies with God’s Holy Word.  I am learning more and more each day that Satan in a counterfeit.  He loves to pose as someone in authority.  He is not!  If he can get us to buy into one of his lies….He thinks he has mastered us.  But the word of God is powerful.  Use your sword!  Get into the word.  It stops him dead in his tracks.  Those of us in Christ have the authority! 
One verse that I found was extremely special to me.  As you know my name is Tiersa.  It is in fact, Hebrew and comes from the name Tirzah.  It means Pleasant and Delightful.   As I was searching the Bible for my true identity in Christ I came across this verse. 
Zephaniah 3:17  The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.  He will take great Delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing. 
Think about this and let it sink in……My God delights in me.  He quiets me with his love.  He sings over me.  He is mighty to save.  He is with me.  What a blessing and a honor! 

I think my parents picked a pretty cool name for me with a pretty cool meaning ..…but even better than being called delightful is knowing ……My God is delighted with me.  WOW!   Let us all remember that!  God is Delighted in you.  You are worthy of His love.  You are precious.  You are NOT average.  You are not status quo.  Please don’t forget!  And if you do….go to His Word.  Let Him tell you exactly who you are. 
And Burn those counterfeit names.  They are SO not you!  

1 comment:

  1. NO, you are not average. Average would be a huge step down for you!